And like face-lifts, there is a specific aspect to saving-face that has always struck me as odd. It is in the realm of gifts. I didn't know what all the hubbub was about. When somebody brought over a gift, there was always an outcry, something like "oh, you really didn't have to do that!" And there was the initial refusal, the vigorous thrusting of the gift back into the hands of the giver, and only when the giver nearly appeared insulted, was the gift reluctantly received.
A gift tiff, if you will.
It took me several years (and I am still learning how) to say the words "thank you" whenever anyone gave me a gift, even a compliment. I began to wonder if I was never taught this elegant solution for fear it might seem like I wouldn't take the gift seriously enough. Of course, all the noise drew more attention to the recipient than the gift, or the giver for that matter! Or if it was because we didn't want to feel indebted to the giver because of the gift. Gifts always came with strings attached.
(Ironically, "gift" in German means "poison.")
But I am wondering, and I think C. S. Lewis would agree (cf. "Weight of Glory"), if wanting to appear self-less is not the point. Being grateful is beautiful, because it shows a receptive heart.
My heart is still a shy host, unsure if gifts require something of me. I am conditioned to think that I must at least play puppet to the strings of the gift. So when something is given to me, I hide my blush, and vigorously prove that I should never receive such a gift, if only to show that I do not go down without a fronted fight. If only to show that even in receiving, I can still hold up my nose job of pride.
